The Emotional Root of Procrastination

They kicked me out of the computer lab.

I went to college when the thought of everyone having their own laptop was a distant future sort of notion. So, I spent late nights in the comp lab, the library, or wherever else on campus had access to computers. 

That night, as I frantically printed my history paper at 2:01 am, I chided myself.

I shouldn’t have waited until the last minute.

I’m going to get a terrible grade.

I’m so tired and I did this to myself.

All the negative self-talk didn’t help me fix the emotional root of why I procrastinated: 

Perfectionism.

The APA Dictionary of Psychology defines perfectionism like this:

“The tendency to demand… of oneself an extremely high or even flawless level of performance, in excess of what is required by the situation.”

Yikes. That’s me. 

What I finally realized, with the help of some friends, was that I put off my assignments because I was afraid of getting them wrong. Afraid of not being perfect. 

If I waited until the last minute, I had an excuse for why it wasn’t good. I created unhealthy patterns to support my unhealthy thoughts. 

I made some pretty big adjustments to change my habits. For example, I started a very small piece of the assignment ridiculously early. That gave my brain the confidence to move forward. And I started focusing on other things that mattered, like relationships, my love of history, and my enjoyment of writing. That helped me recenter and reduce my perfectionism so that I didn’t need to give myself a reason to procrastinate.

So, if you’re wondering why you or the student in your life struggles to manage their time, think about the emotional root.

If you’re ready to have someone walk with you through the process of identifying the root cause and forming strategies to grow new patterns, then join me.